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Mama, gardener, teacher, photographer, faffer with paint and colour

Monday 24 September 2012

Squeaky pigs,dodgy apps,Bunty and Durga.

It's a wet, cold, splattery rain kind of day.

The first rain in ages, droplets sparkling everywhere.

The woodburner is bringing much needed autumnal warmth to the room.

The pup is pressing a toy squeaky pig in between my leg and the arm of the comfy chair in the hope that I might throw it for her. You get used to having phone conversations with a squeaky, grunting pig noise in the background.

Our daughter is esconsed in her bedroom with a friend, in sleeping bags, in the middle of the day watching a film.Her bedroom was really tidy as she earnt her pocket money by tidying it up this morning.The floor is now a distant memory, littered with cast off clothes, duvet cover, silver shoes and the odd sindy horse hazard. They both look like ghouls, ignoring Grannie's "Less is more" make up tip and going for "More or less". After much agonising I got her some make up without nasties in for her to play with (took me about a year but I got there in the end).The lipstick pained me more than anything but I got the red colour she wanted ( mantra -"it is for play, she is not a child prostitute"). Middle class, western, eco dilemmas all over the place.Anyway the lipstick was duly abandoned because it had peppermint oil in it which Daisy hates the taste of, so they have continued putting bright red face paint on their lips, and look, well......pretty dodgy.The rule is that she can play with it at home but she has to wipe it off when she goes outside, thanks Bex for that tip. Although initially pleased with having real make up to play with she is now annoyed at having to take it off and not be allowed out with it on. Ash forgot she had any on when he took her to drop a friend home the other day and freaked when he glanced down in town and saw her geisha face, she was proudly swinging her purse and saying, "I look like I am going out!" AGGGHHHH!

This morning I was woken up by a pressing need to accept or decline some new software rules, in order that she could play a game. Tricky to read 12 pages first thing. Whilst on her ipod half asleep I remembered to check out a new dress up game that I had meant to totally vet and hadn't...... cue LOUD WARNING BELLS.The games are usually like animated Bunty,
( if Bunty had got excluded obviously)
except you buy virtual clothes with real money for your model rather than cut them out and hold them on with paper tabs. 

I know I can't believe we had actually agreed to this in a weak parenting moment. We felt it was ok-ish to spend her pocket money on it as it actually means we have less real tat in our house and she plays these games elsewhere anyway, though usually they are free. Once you have chosen trashy clothing for your model she poses about a bit. So today I carry on checking the new game out. Pressing an ominous looking male icon I found out you can choose a man for your model to flirt with, 
I was thankful he wasn't a real man 
( on this app anyway),
but still could feel this wasn't going to end well. 
He flirts back or rejects you in a bizzare cartoon karate chop
"No, I reject you and your mini skirt" kind of way
 and then dearest readers you get the advice to end all advice.....

 "Wear hotter clothes or buy him a stronger drink!"

You can then choose which drink to give him.What champion lessons for our girls to absorb, you either wear less clothing or get him plastered so he likes you.These aren't teenagers playing these games either they are 8 year olds. Head in hands. I managed not to throw the ipod 
or myself
 out of the window and  we somehow explained in calm tones that she needed to delete it and why it was insane. Not bad for 7.30 am.Lessons learnt about checking games all the way through.The beginning of a new day. Parenting a girl so as to not alienate her from her friends,( if we didn't allow play make up make up or dress up games or music with dodgy lyrics), allow her the fun of pretending to be a grown up, and yet trying to keep some of her naturalness and innocence at least until she is a teenager when she will do all the things my mum told me not to do and I did anyway. Please give her a little longer of thinking kingfishers are cool and the river is awesome .We can try and balance it all we like with beauty coming from inside and kindness being the heart of it all but the outside world glitters and shimmers too and she is drawn to its offerings more than ours. It feels futile and pathetic, holding a shield out to stop a tidal wave and yet the most vital thing to do, to protect her in our world. 

Next to our bed, a painting of the Indian Goddess Durga depicts her eliminating the evils of the world, arms in battle. Where would Durga start? Not with Bunty surely......